SKULLS&LURVE

2009-08-22T14:41:00.006+08:00

MOVED. (:

after 4 YEARS and 11 MONTHS, it is time to move on.
NEW BLOG COMING SOON: 14.10.2009
this blog shall serve as my memory lane whenever i feel nostalgic.

change. is part and parcel of life.

2009-08-19T13:47:00.004+08:00

blogger has fucked up. BIG TIME.
and it's not just me saying it.

any recommendation for a new blog portal would be appreciated.
(preferably one which is cool with blog skins and layouts.)

BLOGGER YOU SUCK!
BOO!

2009-08-13T15:24:00.001+08:00

It was a talked up world where everyone is doing wonderful, afraid to look at life in case it is not what they want.

i looked at my life and it is not what i want.
so, i will be the change i wanna be in this world.
it's ironic but true.
when you sink to the bottom, when you lost everything.
you no longer have any fear, no longer afraid to show,
because you know you have nothing else to lose.
i will do what i do best: leaving quietly, with no footprints behind.

2009-08-08T13:22:00.000+08:00

slept at 4aM yesterday. woohoo!
half the day was gone when i woke up today.
i can't seem to blog properly.
contents are disorganized and yet i keep having the urge to blog.
right now i am rocking to the music of my Favorite female artists: Taylor Swift, Avril Lavigne, The Veronicas (:

Taylor Swift is one down-to-earth person.
love her attitude.
love her gorgeous blond curls.

Avril Lavigne is one cool person.
love her blond hair + pink streak.
love her face. the kind of dao yet chio expression,

The VERONICAS.
how i wish i could have a twin too.
love their attitude.

think i am gonna go take a nap. (even though i woke up for only 2.5 hours.)
haven't been sleeping well this whole week.
slept at around 2am or later.
keep having this weird feeling that my body ain't functioning well.

i have come to the conclusion that my blogger and facebook has officially fucked up.
i can't host pictures, browse facebook, make comments, blah blah.
GOOD NIGHT.

2009-08-07T21:49:00.002+08:00

i am not deluded.
i have my reasons for choosing 'Chikuda Cho' as my Japanese name.
reasons. not sole meaning of the japanese name.
note the difference.
i admit 'Matsumoto Emi' was the result of my urge to have a japanese name.

i am rocking to the music of Taylor Swift and The VERONICAS.
i LOVE Avril Lavigne's website.
and her new fragrance.
which cannot be found in SG.
another reason why i am so outta here when i can.
blogger is still fucked up. i wanna host pictures.
facebook too.
or is it my PC.
damn.
well as you can see, i am not only obsessed with male artists now.
actually i admire plenty of artists. because they all have their different style towards their music.
which i appreciate.
currently these are my top favorite artists. (:
my obsession with DBSK will remain the strongest! ^^
i am having a hard time right now.
but i am not defeated. i am gonna fight for it.
you want something? you fight for it.
DBSK too, are having huge problems. but they are fighting.
fighting for their rights. for what they deserve.
Jae Joong, Yoo Chun, Junsu FIGHTING!
Fans all over the world are watching and giving them moral support.

long weekends are here.
time to plot my strategy.
like i said.
i ain't waiting for judgment day.
i'll be my own judge.
got it?
good.

only during critical times will you know who chose to stood by you no matter what and who associate themselves with you for a purpose.

2009-08-06T20:17:00.002+08:00

"When It All Falls Apart"

I'm having the day from hell,
it was all going so well (before you came)
And you told me you needed space,
With a kiss on the side my face (not again)
And not to mention (the tears I shed)
But I should have kicked your (ass instead)
I need intervention
Attention to to stop temptation to scream

'cause baby
Everything is F'ed up straight from the heart
Tell me what do you do, when it all falls apart
Gotta pick myself up where do I start
'cause I can't turn to you when it all falls apart
No

Don't know where I parked my car
Don't know who my real friends are (anymore)
I put my faith in you
What a stupid thing to do (when it rains it pours)
And not to mention (I drank too much)
I'm feeling hung over (and out of touch)
I need intervention
Attention to to stop temptation to scream

'cause baby
Everything is F'ed up straight from the heart
Tell me what do you do, when it all falls apart
Gotta pick myself up where do I start
'cause I can't turn to you when it all falls apart
No

Can it be easier?
Can I just change my life?
'cause it just seems to go bad everytime
Will I be mending?
another one ending once again

Everything is F'ed up straight from the heart
Tell me what do you do, when it all falls apart
Gotta pick myself up where do I start
'cause I can't turn to you when it all falls apart
No

Falls apart
Gotta pick myself up 'cause things are messed up

was browsing through my archives.
not all of them. duh. just some random posts.
i looked back and i think i had a pretty good life during the holidays after Os.
switched jobs, hung out with old friends, blogged about happy stuffs.
even the emo posts aren't that bad.
poly life begins and i got alone with my classmates.
i mentioned different people each time i blogged.
my posts were totally concentrated on poly life.
worrying about assignments, projects.
a typical student.
grades aren't fantastic but i survived.

now?
it's a different story.
grades are barely making it.
wasting my life away every single day.
thinking is all i do.
thinking isn't gonna produce money and put food on the table.
thinking isn't gonna make me a better person.
thinking isn't gonna get me out of this fucked up life. or maybe it will.
i wake up with a heavy head everyday.

till my blood dries up.
till my spirit dies out.
it's suicidal and i am not gonna wait for judgment day.
i can't wait that long.
my tolerance is reaching its limit.

2009-08-04T22:13:00.000+08:00

i thought i had plunged to the bottom.
but hell no.
i sink underground.

i need to talk to someone.
who should i talk to?

fuck that shit.
shouldn't have bothered.
waste of my time, energy, effort, money and saliva.

facade. it's all facade.
issues. i have issues.

2009-08-03T15:15:00.000+08:00

就这样，让它慢慢淡去。
if it's even worth mentioning.

Everyday is a ~~struggle~~ torture.

2009-07-31T17:25:00.003+08:00

Tribute to friends. i salute you.

but first, PICTURES OF THE CLICK FIVE AND ADORABLE KYLE PATRICK!
*squeals*

The Click Five

Kyle Patrick! stare into his gorgeous eyes. O_O

total cutie!

---

To HL:

i thank you for your graciousness towards me.
even after all the shit i did.
i am not seeking for your forgiveness, i am just thankful you are willing to put aside all our disputes and get along with me.
i am glad you shared with me some interesting stuffs about you and your life.
i will let you know if i have any news on the dance you are interested in. (:

---

To the 3 irreplaceable buddies:

对不起。我给你们添麻烦了。
i am really happy for all of you, putting so much effort and time (as well as sacrificing sleep) into the project with my absence.
i am sure your efforts will pull off.
i know very well as much as you all do, that i do not deserve any credit.
and as flawed as i can be, i will not be sulking, spitting venom behind my computer screen or any other sour grape stuffs i can think of.
i am sincerely glad for all of you.
i apologize for my moody facade. i am unable to control that.
of course i am not saying you girls should emo with me or whatsoever.

---

To YT:

thank you thank you THANK YOU for being there (literally or not) for me whenever i cried to you for help.
you gave me strength to carry on.

---

i am a human with many flaws.
i made many mistakes.
i have much to learn.
i apologize for my immaturity, my bad way of handing stuffs.
i am not tough. no matter how hard i tried to be.
but it's okay. i will learn and be strong and change for the better.
but as for now, all i think i can do is apologize for all the mistakes i made.

2009-07-30T20:41:00.000+08:00

Life is full of twists and turns.

will it be better if i stop thinking so much?
i will lose myself if i do that.
i am unable to live numbly. go with the flow.
doing what i am supposedly suppose to do.
study hard - ace results - get into great university - start working life - stay in office whole day - take care of mutti and vatti - find a random partner i like and get married - have kids -
this is the cycle of life.
but is this life?
you call this a life?

why do all of us have to be involved in this game?
this game. filled with so many fucking rules.
with only a minority are the real players of the game.
the real players get all the good stuffs.
fame. fortune.
and everyone else is, like a whirlpool, drowned in it.
forced to be in it.
to survive. most will say.
the only way to feed ourselves.
is it really it?
who made up all the rules anyway?

i put myself in extreme torture. with my own thoughts.
sometimes i doubt myself.
all those thinking. are they rational?
are they worth the time?
then i look at what i do everyday.
what the heck am i living for?
why the heck am i doing this to myself?
regret.
i made the wrong decision 2 years ago.
and i am suffering.
this has nothing to do with anybody.
it's myself.

am i giving up because i am demoralized?
have i really tried?
have i reached the bottom?
what happens after that?
it didn't kill me.
not yet.
so am i stronger now?
i don't see myself being stronger.
emotionally. mentally. no.

after some researching,
i can't help but feel,
that all hope is lost.

2009-07-29T19:00:00.003+08:00

FIGHTING!

even though i am sick of everything being so surreal and monotonous.
and numbers. oh the horror.
~~counting down to freedom.~~ anticipating the day freedom open its gates for me.
i confess. i am a little jealous of D.
because she will reach freedom first.
D, wait for me!!! :x

well one good news: YT is back! :D

MUTTI WON'T LET ME DYE MY HAIR!!!
BUT she went to do her hair!
how could she!!!
...
argh.

oh yeah! i found the song i wanted!
Jenny - The Click FIve
damn blogger.
they fucked up AGAIN!
i wanna host pictures of the ADORABLE lead vocals: Kyle Patrick!
total cutie!
next time then.

2009-07-26T10:45:00.000+08:00

i showed minimum enthusiasm.
i didn't turn up.
i gave you the EXACT reason to piss you off.
yes, you have the right to know because i am obliged to answer to you the reason of my absence.
so go ahead and take that bloody reason as my answer and remember deep in your mind what sort of person i am.
i don't have to prove anything to go against what you think of me.
because it's none of my business.
everyone has different ways in solving our own problems, clearing our own thoughts.
i don't have to do anything to make you understand my situation.
because it's none of your business.

i know where my fault lies.
i tried to apologize.
i am sad to say when things get serious like this, a sincere apology is very crucial to turn things around.
yet such an apology requires a lot of courage.
something which i lack of and am unable to do.
i am unable to apologize straight at your faces.
so i shall say it right here.
i am sorry.

disappointment

2009-07-22T14:37:00.002+08:00

i made vatti upset.
i feel so unbelievably horrible right now.
it's like you are one mean bully who snatched a lollipop away from a smiling kid.
you took away the kid's smile as well.

all i am good at, is being a disappointment.

i can't focus. i fail to try.
i am avoiding.
as much as i can.

wouldn't it be nice if sleeping is the solution to all my problems?

2009-07-21T12:31:00.004+08:00

EMO-ING~

In the end, i walk alone.
You couldnt imagine how i felt when i came pouring out to you.
you listen, you made comments and you made me laugh.
sometimes, you made me feel secure.
other times, you made me feel worse.
why?
i have doubts about this every time.
"what do you want me to do?"
"i also cannot help you what..."
you stabbed me on my heart without realizing it.
Again, i bleed.
I know you have your commitments and hectic life.
so much that there isnt any time for me.
its okay. i know you are still there.

No matter how helpless i feel,
the only person who could save myself from all these shit in this world is me.
Because nobody understands.
I aint blaming anybody.

Everyday is a struggle.

2009-07-20T20:28:00.008+08:00

there goes my $3,000. ):

oh yeah i had promise LONG time ago to tell you READERS (i know, maybe not a lot of them, but i know i have at least 1. ^^) about the origins of my Japanese name.
well, here goes.

some fact i know about japanese names: every Japanese has a family name plus his/her own name. each family name and the person's name has a meaning.
you will know what i am trying to say when i explain more.

Matsumoto Emi = 松本恵美

松本 = Matsumoto = family name.
In Japan, Matsumoto is common in western Japan and the Ryukyu Islands.
As this is from a common place name; many bearers may therefore be unrelated. (Bearers like me.)
According to folklore, a habitation near a pine tree (matsu) from which a deity would issue to visit mortals would be named Matsumoto:
‘place of the (divine) pine tree’.

恵美 = Emi = Japanese name = Beautiful blessing.

if the person's name is Emiko, it will mean beautiful blessing child. Which is different from Emi. yet the meaning is similar.

The reason why i chose that family name is because i like the word.
As for Emi, i wanted my Japanese name to start with E and not too long, so i chose Emi.

But i forgot there's this cake shop name: Emicakes.
So yeah it's ok, a joke is a joke. (:
Emicakes has really tasteful cakes! go try! lol.

i changed my japanese name. :x well the previous one was an urge, this time round there is real reason behind my choice.

everyone is getting sick.
some got seriously sick and have to rest at home.
i wish i can be seriously sick.
so i can rest at home.
and say bye bye to projects and tutorials and shitty lecturers. (:
AS IF!

EMICAKES

2009-07-19T21:01:00.007+08:00

Harry Potty was a waste of time and money!
bloody budget they have.
hello? book is pretty thick, so there's PLENTY of story to tell.
but hell, they reduced so many scenes the whole story is screwed.
Ron Weasly look as shit as ever. oops. :x
and PERSONALLY, i think Draco is zero hotness.
Jeannie is as tall, if not taller than Harry.
hoho. i bet it was tough when she snogged him.

still, every cloud has a silver lining.
the silver lining here is the WIZARD COMBO!
every combo contains this totally CUTE pot (filled with popcorns) and this drink filled in a cup with a wobbly hat at the top.

mind you, it's not cheap. 12 bucks!
damn!
i shared the costs with phy so it was alright.

went to Bakerzin after that.
i just SO love cakes.
and cappuccino/mocha/latte.

candid!

Ling, Phy and i split the cost of the macarons.
since we wanna try out all flavors, we take turns having a bite each.
indirect kissing! ahaha! :x

Phy's creation. (:

i was thrilled to bits when twin proposed about going to DaVinci exhibition a few days ago.
i was looking forward to it.
and guess what. we didn't go.
seriously. i think i am cursed.
with this looking forward thing.
it happens all the time.
i look forward to an upcoming event, then it will screw up one way or the other.
oo-er.

dang i need sleep.
haven't been sleeping much since friday.
shall get a power nap.
then it's gonna be another dreadful week.

2009-07-19T01:41:00.005+08:00

part III (final)

i am still hanging around...
recuperating.
before i am bombard with yet another hectic week.
i had been doing what i WANT to do, not what i NEED to do.
time to get back on track.
1 more year...to a new phase of my life.
a few more years to go before freedom opens its gates for me.

PICTURES SPAM PART II

2009-07-18T11:08:00.014+08:00

17.06.09 @ Novena

happiness is.

好朋友。

\(^^)/

smile!

had to edit the ones below.
the actual shots are really blur.

(:

(:

(:
(:
(:

(:

11.07.09 New York New York! Teadot!

FUCK MY FATS.

ok that's part II.
part III coming soon!
HARRY POTTY HERE I COME!

PICTURES SPAM PART I

2009-07-18T00:58:00.020+08:00

Ethe'real performance

06.07.09 Ping Pong + Bakerzin

PS: these are SELECTIVE PICTURES ONLY. to view the rest, go to Facebook!
PPS: all pictures are not owned by me. just thought of sharing.
PPPS: more pictures spam coming soon! take time to digest this load first! (:

shut your trap.

2009-07-16T20:02:00.005+08:00

the train is a depressing place.
everyday, i step into the depressing place, filled with depressing people.
the atmosphere is depressing along with everyone's depressing aura.
nobody smiles.
some stare into space. others look blank.
most just close their eyes, to escape from this horror that happens everyday.
the journey to my yet another depressing destination has just begun.

we live in a world whereby we have to take up many roles.
i don't wanna have many roles. i just wanna be me.

How To Save A Life

Step one, you say, ?We need to talk?
He walks, you say, ?Sit down, it's just a talk?
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through

Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
You begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best
?Cause after all, you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence

Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you

And where did I go wrong? I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed

He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

How to save a life
How to save a life

Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

How to save a life
How to save a life

i showed you my sincerity. you treat me like dirt.
fine. you judged me based on what you see, what you hear.
i can't blame you for that.
but you don't know the truth.
you merely believe what you want to believe.
since you have lost faith in me, in this friendship, trust me.
i won't bother you again.
so you don't have to force yourself to smile a big wide smile filled with hypocrisy, go "haha" and pretend everything is OK.

a butt-kisser expects others to kiss his butt simply because he wants some butt-kissing.
you can dream on thinking i am dying to kiss your butt.
i will so fucking not. ever in my life.

it's just whether you are able to accept her true self...
i just can't.
i rather i realize nothing of this.
i rather she stay nice.

this world is screwed.
problems and issues we face everyday.
fuck school. fuck life. (well, my life that is.)
damn you. just shut up. seriously.
fucking judge people by their appearance.
the silliest thing to do.
hello? who are you to judge?
a. you don't fucking look like who you are suppose to be. you look like a kid.
b. your handwriting looks as if it belongs to a kid.
c. you speak to us as if we were little children.
so are we suppose to judge you as a kid?
talk about sensitivity. walk your talk man.

she waves at you. you looked away, pretending to be more interested in the other side.
you think you are hot stuff and a big shot.
but the truth is, you are just like everyone else.
so why act like you are special?
have you forgotten where you came from?
what happened at where you came from?

like a fool you treat me,
thinking i will fall into your game.
sorry to disappoint you,
i haven't move an inch.

H.I.A.T.U.S

2009-07-14T22:37:00.003+08:00

greetings earthlings. LOL
a short post before i crash.
i am sorry to disappoint my fans out there...sorry for the unexpected hiatus.
haven't got the time to blog these days.
it's been VAIR VAIR hectic!
so yeah. i will blog REAL SOON.
just need to dig out some time somewhere...
meanwhile, enjoy this unique blog skin while it's still here.
due to ~~popular~~ unpopular critics, thy shall consider changing my blog skin on thy next major post.
so keep a look out for it!

just a sidetrack...
jul: i wanna be a DETECTOR.
us: *Roars with laughter* Detective la! ><
~ a joke is a joke~

harry potty is coming~!
hurry grab your mates and tickets before they are gone~!
i shall end my post with the song of the week.
TOP hit in Evonica's weekly chart. LOL.

"Shut Up"

There you go
You're always so right
It's all a big show
It's all about you

You think you know
What everyone needs
You always take time
To criticize me

It seems like everyday
I make mistakes
I just can't get it right

It's like I'm the one
You love to hate
But not today

So shut up, shut up, shut up
Don't wanna hear it
Get out, get out, get out
Get out of my way
Step up, step up, step up
You'll never stop me
Nothing you say today
Is gonna bring me down

There you go
You never ask why
It's all a big lie
Whatever you do

You think you're special
But I know, and I know
And I know, and we know
That you're not

You're always there to point
Out my mistakes
And shove them in my face

It's like I'm the one
You love to hate
But not today

So shut up, shut up, shut up
Don't wanna hear it
Get out, get out, get out
Get out of my way
Step up, step up, step up
You'll never stop me
Nothing you say today
Is gonna bring me down
Is gonna bring me down

Will never bring me down

Don't tell me who I should be
And don't try to tell me what's right for me
Don't tell me what I should do
I don't wanna waste my time
I'll watch you fade away

So shut up, shut up, shut up
Don't wanna hear it
Get out, get out, get out
Get out of my way
Step up, step up, step up
You'll never stop me
Nothing you say today
Is gonna bring me down

Shut up, shut up, shut up
Don't wanna hear it
Get out, get out, get out
Get out of my way
Step up, step up, step up
You'll never stop me
Nothing you say today
Is gonna bring me down

Bring me down
{shut up, shut up, shut up}
Won't bring me down
{shut up, shut up, shut up}
Bring me down
{shut up, shut up, shut up}
Won't bring me down

Shut up, shut up, shut up

F.R.I.E.N.D.S

2009-07-08T23:13:00.002+08:00

a tribute to friends. i salute you!

i am happy today!
happy spending time with jul and stella.
went to crash their gems.
lol the teacher is hilariously retarded.
and he barely notices jul.
and jul who either sleeps or play computer games during gems, managed to answer correctly all the questions he asked. lol!
went to do the cost competition project thingy after that.
i felt asleep halfway through the discussion. -.-
i am so sorry!
don't know what the heck was wrong with me.

finally after a long time, jul stella and i can take the same train ride home again.
just the three of us.
i always enjoy the train ride home with them. (:
the chatting, laughing.
pleasant memories to keep.
love you girls!

met D for dinner and chilled at J.C.O, reading the House of Night novels.
despite having totally different opinions and viewpoints, we are still the best of friends.
i really cherish it.
pictures next time.

today is the day i officially start my school term.
i was late on monday and i skipped school on tuesday.
went out with VONE and HL on monday to my hometown. lol.
tried delicious cakes at Bakerzin and saw Karilynn working there! what a coincidence.
pictures next time.
skipped tuesday lectures and head off to JP to zone out at the arcade after gems with HL and MS.
was a last minute decision and since it was new for me, i gave it a go.
it was an interesting experience.

I LOVE YOU YT!
i feel so blissful with her as my friend.
yes we may disagree sometimes, have cold war occassionally, but our friendship will weather the storm! :D

JY! it was really nice to get to know you, so i am telling you now, please don't abandon our friendship! i am really happy to have you as my friend. talk to me if you must, you don't need to swallow all your misery alone.

people come and go, and i am sad to know ron kor will be leaving SG soon. ):
of couse i feel happy for him to be able to return for his homeland.
but i wont get to see him anymore.

i was telling YT and ron kor that i am tired.
i am sick of this bustling city life.
this hetic, aimless life.
it's eating me up.
if i were to be in new york, i can just collapse there.
i wanna migrate!

B.I.T.C.H

2009-07-07T23:44:00.002+08:00

my bark is louder than my bite.
but that doesn't mean you can step on me as and when you like.
i hate being manipulated.
i hate the fact that harmony is constantly disrupted.

hating is in me.
you are welcome to join my "hate" list.

i ain't gonna swear.
i am just making my mouth filthy for you.
and believe me, you are not worth it.

you are just a female dog, no matter how much you deny it.
the truth is there. and it will never run away.

coffee houses + food adventure!

2009-07-04T23:48:00.013+08:00

long post ahead!
you have been warned!
dont bother to read unless you are my fan! LOL
ok 3rd sentence was nonsense.
before i begin, i wanna announce my japanese name!
most of you would have realise, i have this new affliates corner, filled with this name.
松本恵美 Matsumoto Emi.
it is my japanese name!
not a direct translation of Evonica Yeo though.
i will talk about the origin of my japanese name next time.
yes!
my wish came true again!
i went to plenty of coffee houses this week with different friends each time.
and i am very happy! enjoying my fake tai-tai life. haha!

Saturday, 27.06.09
SHINE youth mascot festival, Ethe'real performance
i will post pictures of their performance next time, because there's like a lot and my dear readers will get bored by the picture spam.
fiona chong agreed to go accompany me and lost her phone there.
damn those !@#$%^&* bastards for taking the phone right under our noses.
but other then that incident, it was a great night! (:
was thrilled to the bones. hees.
went to Coffee Club at Ngee Ann City for late dinner.

muddy mudpie. oozing with SWEETNESS.

oh i just ADORE mocha.

fiona chong!

i discovered JUICY COUTURE actually has a store in SG.
and the shop looks fabbity fab!
so are the price tags!
one simple A4 size note book with their fantastic cover costs around SGD$60++
jumper top costs around SGD$300++
umbrella costs around SGD$90++
i didn't dare to see the price of their bags.
do check out their fitting room when you are there.
totally PRINCESS. woohoo.

Monday, 29.06.09
1st day of MST
was lonely lonely on my owny for the whole day.
but it's ok because i went to meet YT and ate super late lunch at Yoshinoya.
YT has coupons which expires the very next day. -.-

Tuesday, 30.06.09
2nd day of MST
was initially planning to go Gelare to study and have waffles ice-cream since it's half price every tuesday.
but guess what? they closed down! ZOMG.
we went to the Citylink outlet and it was gone! replaced with some lousy AC2 cafe.
the layout of the shop was plain and boring and even though there were plenty of people walking pass, nobody went in. pathetic!
we went to Suntec hoping for that the Gelare outlet there remains intact. but no! it was gone too!
what's worse, it's replaced by YES you guessed it. AC2 cafe. wth!!!!
YT and i were tired. starving. utterly disappointed. ):
in the end we settled with Gloria Jeans at Marina Square.

seriously, their coffee ain't that great.
don't be fooled by it's looks.

YT!

wa ta shi!

our lunch! it's YUMMY.

Wednesday, 01.07.09 3rd (2nd last) day of MST.
losing all my focus on studies even though i had little in the first place.
went to have lunch with YT! this time at KIMGARY restaurant.
it's not really a restaurant.
more like a hong kong cafe but better.
we ate a yummy lunch!

we went window shopping at all three malls after that.
happy day!

Thursday, 02.07.09
LAST DAY of MST. party time~
hyper day.
after the paper, went to Vivo after so many months, for lunch.
VONE, Debbie, Jul, WY, Jamie and myself.
settled for Carls Jr.
then jalan for a while. i was tempted to enter F21 but then i saw Rosa.
blah. she gives me the creeps.
anyway the fun people were more or less gone.
so going back to visit seem pretty pointless.

after that was Chinatown. WY wanted to go to this sale held by one of the online shops she patronize.
the journey there was difficult. lol.
we climbed and climbed many stairs where we finally reached the so-called office located at a really oo loo place.
the place looks pretty depressing too.
a perfect setting for depressed shows or even horror movies.
i wouldnt be anywhere near there at night.
even if you give me 100 bucks.
the shop looks pleasant inside though.
i saw this jacket i really liked and the price was reasonable too.
but i didnt get it. i had something similar.

went to PS with jamie and WY.
VONE wanted to crash at home, Debbie was unwell.
guess where we went? haha! TCC!
YES! my favorite coffee house. [i settled for coffeebean because i couldnt afford TCC most of the time.]
i drank my Oreo Mocha Frappachino. yummy!!!!

i like taking candid shots of Jamie and WY. lols.
i remember i took one when we were at LJS.

me and Jamie.

Jamie and WY.

WY and me. [damn my fringy fringe. irritating!]

i wanna try the cakes~

my oreo mocha frappachino! yum yum!

WY's mochavilla.

Jamie's Rosy Juliet.

we spent our tai tai time chatting and WY mentioned this korean variety show which sounded damn funny when she said it!
it's like a game and you are given like a word and you have to repeat it but emphasise on a different syllabus each time.
example: EVONICA
my name has four syllabus. E VON NI CA.
so it goes like this.
E VON NI CA
E VON NI CA
E VON NI CA
E VON NI CA

the bold part is the part where you emphasise. say it in a higher tone than usual when you emphasise.
WY, Jamie and i tried it on our names and it was fun.
so try it!
but i think it will be more hilarious when it is in korean.

went to meet my twin after that.
walked till we were tired and hungry.
but it was a great day!

Friday, 03.07.09
KBOX fiesta!
went kboxing at Jurong Safra.
the journey there was dreading man.
i swear i wont purposely make a trip there anymore.
unless it's like after school.
the experience there still suck.
but some better songs are in their new database.
as usual, there are pros and cons.

cotton on flats!

---

was planning to go to this cat show at eastpoint today.
twin tummy was upset again. so i gave it a miss. ):
i regretted not taking pictures of my starbucks trip with VONE the other time.
i would have visited all of the more common coffee houses.
humans are greedy creatures. we will never be satisified.
and that's why...i want more trips to coffee houses!!!
yes!!! please ask me along when you wanna chill~ i will gladly join you~
haha.

oh yeah. watch HAPTIC MISSION PEOPLE!
it's funny, lame, rofl, and there's KIM BUM and KIM HYUN JOONG!
well i am rather disappointed in Kim Bum.
all i can say is, he is blessed with a charming smile.
BUT. Kim Hyun Joong is funny as usual!
and i cant help but love his courage and frankness.
he is never afraid to voice out his thoughts.

maybe, i will go on a mini shopping trip a few hours later...

i failed. as a mediator.

STOP IN THE NAME OF PANTS!

2009-06-25T16:53:00.004+08:00

arvie.
just returned to Georgia Nicolson world and thus am speaking her language.
don't know who Georgia Nicolson is? have no fear! just google it.
today started out crappio but then it became fabity-fab!
the japan fair is not worth mentioning so PASS.
reluctant to go home after coming out for just 5 minutes (excluding train ride), vone and i went loitering.
then yada yada yada, we stepped into TIMES bookstore where my dreams came true!
ok exaggerating.
i got 2 out of the oh so many books i had been dying to get.
hurrah!
vone helped me pay for it because i was stupid enough to not bring my wallet out.
today is our lucky day because we get to enjoy 2 'Dark Mocha Frappachino' at Starbucks at the price of 1!
unfortunately, Starbucks do not accept nets and therefore we had to scoure for an atm machine.
my stupidity acted up at that point of time and we went all the way to raffles city shopping centre to withdraw cash and back to marina square for the frappachino.
that was when i realised there is actually atm machine in marina square itself.
oo-er.
anyway i get to chill at a cafe again!
with vone again!
and we read the storybooks i got.
encountered gross incident on the train ride home.
some double gross with knobs person decided to pollute the air and started throwing fart bombs.
and everyone acted as if nothing has happened and had smell nothing.
erlack.
i make my move and went vair vair away from the fart base.
and continue being engrossed with my vairly interesting storybook.
then i got home and i hunted mutti's closet for treasures and i found a blimy-o-reilly cool lipgloss from M.A.C!
am thrilled to the bones.
now i am trying to convinced vatti to give me the thrity squid i spent on the storybooks.
make that fourty. on account of the price of the frappachino.
no extended holidays. bummer.
i am going back to my boboland.
ciao amigos.

can you keep a secret?

2009-06-23T23:08:00.004+08:00

DISCLAIMER: contents below are fictional with minimal truth.

imagine this.
you found this huge goody bag 1 day, filled with loads of goodies.
what is the first thing on your mind?
grab the goodies of course! :D
let's see.
i grabbed
1. one ROXY fragrance
2. one LACOSTE fragrance
3. two Dior compact refills
4. one Bobbie Brown compact
5. one Maybelline liquid foundation.
woohoo! since i grabbed them, they are of course, FREE.
how SWEET is that?

i went to cloud 9 yesterday.
something delightful happened. (:
can't help smiling whenever i thought about it.
in fact i think i will smile every night. like a nutcase, yes.

in the midst of all the so-called mugging, i can't help hoping the poll actually come true.
the poll taken at channelnewsasia website.
the percentage is ridiculous! close to 90% choice was extended holidays.
the rest 3 to 7% were online studying and return to school as per normal.
Sotong said everyone hates school.
yeah! i am like so one of them. :p

ok good night!

2009-06-19T21:34:00.006+08:00

guess where i am?

lol. went to SPGG for the first time ever with WY and Debbie.
it was so tough to get there! WY and i were on the verge of melting.
(or have we melted?)
ya so anyway i kinda wasted my money on the entrance fee because i did not use the facilities there. what a waste yeah.
it's not like i can help it. boo.

anyways, SPGG is like a mini country club with many facilities.
i did some exploring.
there is the pool and the wellness room for both men and women which consists of a jacuzzi of 3 different temperatures, steaming room, sauna, shower cubicles and locker room.
there are shampoo and soap in each shower cubicle and there is this huge sink in the locker room which has a built-in hair dryer and cotton buds. like the ones in a hotel.
wait. even the hotel does not provide cotton buds.
i find it pretty neat.

there is the gym, and many rooms with flower names mostly for functions, bowling alley, pool, karaoke, pub, slots machines, outdoor tennis court, rooftop area which has nothing but sunlight and LOL mahjong rooms.
there's like 3 doors next to each others the door is the size of the door you usually see outside the common door area in new HDB flats carrying the sign of [high voltage].
pretty cramp area for a mahjong session if you ask me.
Debbie said she rather play at a friend's house.

Took pictures of the girls while they were in the pool.

tried the food at the pool-side cafe. it was delicious!
love the sandwich.

the only photo i took during the steamboat on wednesday.

phy & ling (:

am gonna rest now.
getting sick.
i am gonna watch absolute boyfriend online. tsk tsk.

am gravitated by you.

2009-06-19T10:51:00.002+08:00

things i wanna do for the hols
~~1. KBOX @ cineleisure~~
~~2. KBOX with YT~~
3. NIGHT KBOX
4. night cycling
~~5. watch [blood, the last vampire]~~
~~6. watch [night at the museum 2]~~
7. shopping with JY
~~8. [Da Vinci the genius] exhibition with N~~

i think that's all i am gonna do for the hols.
which is way more accomplished as compared to school stuffs.
i am not happy in school.
people are not the sole reason of my unhappiness.
nevertheless, i am gonna give it my best shot.
let the results show me where to go.
one thing for sure. i don't wanna have a life where i am slogging my ass off in such a routine: go work to buy car; buy car to go work.
~~pointless life.~~it's not even a life.

find a job that you like and you will never have to work for a single day.
i am looking for it.

N said i need to get some rest.
true. i had been shortening my life span and destroying my health.

watched [blood. the last vampire] with vone yesterday.
boring.
went to a boring place to watch the boring movie having a boring time.
usually when i am out with vone we will go hyper together.
yesterday was abnormal.

it's friday. last week of holidays and it's exams.
woohoo!

2009-06-18T03:00:00.002+08:00

things i wanna do for the hols
~~1. KBOX @ cineleisure~~
~~2. KBOX with YT~~
3. NIGHT KBOX
4. night cycling
5. watch [blood, the last vampire]
~~6. watch [night at the museum 2]~~
7. shopping with JY
~~8. [Da Vinci the genius] exhibition with N~~

TIME CHECK: 3.05AM
had a happening day today and as you can see, i strike off pretty much items on my list.
will not be visiting Da Vinci the genius this month.
went KBOX with YT @ Cineleisure today. (:
and we swarmed the whole orchard many times! am impressed with YT :P
dinner with sec sch mates after that.

cleared many things up today.
and i shall stop thinking so much. waste my energy, kill my brain cells.
managed to keep my obsession to the minimum today.

2009-06-15T16:45:00.003+08:00

i have decided what pet to get after my hamster moved on.
i want a cat. yes! a CAT.
not just any cat.
i want a Ragdoll! it's one of the many breeds of cats.
they are simply adorable! like OMG. (recalling the OMGB joke and laughs.)

Pictures of Ragdoll:

adorable!!!

and now something more about Ragdolls. more reasons why i have to choose them!
Warning: not suitable for non-animal lovers as content is lengthy and dry. (:

Ragdoll cats get their name from their tendency to go limp when picked up or held. Ragdolls have a sturdy, imposing frame with soft, medium length fur in different shades of brown and gray. Ragdoll cats are very affectionate and friendly.

They easily take to new people and co-exist with other animals, including dogs and children. It could take your Ragdoll four to five years to fully mature.

Ragdoll cats are one of the least aggressive and calmest breeds of domestic cat and posses a warm, affectionate disposition. Your Ragdoll cat may greet your visitors at the door and follow them around your home like a puppy; in fact the breed has many dog like traits, such as fetching toys and loyalty to their owners.

Because of the Ragdoll’s laid back nature they should be kept as strictly indoor cats as they may not defend themselves from aggressive animals. Their trusting nature could also lead to theft by stranger so always keep your Ragdoll inside. Ragdoll cats are smart and are able to learn tricks easily making the breed a favorite at many cat shows. The large frame tends to make them slightly clumsy; however, they remain playfully energetic; if you’re looking for a large, gentle playful cat, Ragdoll Cats is the breed for you.

Extracted from: http://www.ragdollcats.info/ragdoll-cats-breed-characteristics/

Adorable! they are laid back, they don't mind when you carry them yet at the same time they don't require so much attention (unlike a dog). ahhh i am so in love with this breed~

i want a Ragdoll kitten for my birthday! hahaha!

---

i am starting to develop interest towards J-rock. soon, i think i will be getting those major headphones and start blasting my ears with it.

currently addicted to this song: THE FINAL

by Dir En Grey from their album [Withering to death]

i feel as if i am walking on air. lack of sleep really kills me.

you fill up my mind. i can think of nothing else.

2009-06-15T08:46:00.018+08:00

i better make this quick before my PC decide to die on me AGAIN.
was high last night. in my room.
to the extent that VONE thought i was high on drugs.
ROFL.
ok less talking, more viewing.
here we go.

12.06.09 @ Chinatown with my current clique (nice people) and VONE.

13.06.09 Cosplay event @ scape. (check out HOT people!)

Jasmine. Cool huh?

cosplayers. i like the 2nd one from the left. cool.

some idiot who literally walked pass while i snapped the picture.

take 2

camhors.

lee shao ran and sakura. lol.

jasmine and me!

some character which i don't know but i find her chio.

some professional cosplayer.

camwhores! (:

her partner.

more camwhores!

blah.

now for the highlight. HOTTIES. woohoo!!!

cool + cute girl! she rocks on her guitar!

hot guy/girl! can't tell which gender =/

cooool

ethe'real & OMGB(s). haha!

kunio and OMGB 1

kei (ahh!), OMGB 2 & kunio.

i LOVE this picture. hot hot hot.

hot.

hot. & love his guitar.

kunio singing.

kei

kei with his awesome hair.

kunio rocking.

kei. HOT.

Kunio and Sam.

Jun. another hottie.

camwhore during their performance. ROFL.

cosplayers. i like the red head.

check out Mr. Hottie!

i am desperate for a cybershot. ):
my PC hardware is crashing anytime soon.
i am so dead.
mom's returning today! like finally!
i miss mother love.

isn't he cute? reminds me of my lao gong.

i took the test on FB. they say i am most similiar to ANNA TSUCHIYA.

woohoo! rock on!
Anna Tsuchiya is CHIO.
just look at her face people.
damn.

delicious looking. i so wanna eat you up.

2009-06-14T23:49:00.003+08:00

crap post with zero content.

my PC screwed up.
i am very upset.
i am going mad.
my heart is beating fast.
I WANT MY PC BACK TO LIVE.
argh.
i have yet to cleanse myself.
sinking deeper i think.
drowned by my thoughts.
ARGH.

am looking forward to my yet another HAPPENING week.
woohoo!
lovin my life~ uh huh uh huh.
should be able to strike off more stuffs on my "to-do" list.

i hate my zit.
ok dumb. nobody likes zit.
keep bleedin' keep keep bleedin' love~

i am in a state of destruction.
ironically, i have no issues. for now.
so i should be at peace right?
but no, i am NOT.
oh, what was i saying again?

i am hooked.

2009-06-13T23:38:00.006+08:00

LOVE my new blog layout.
since i am a wordy person, a slim layout will be sufficient.
my PC screwed up so i am using my lappy.
unbelievable.
11.06.09 went to watch movie with N.
12.06.09 went to Chinatown and Orchard with my current clique (who i emphasize, are very nice people.) and vone.
13.06.09 i am out again. to this cosplay event at scape.
omg. fuck the weather. it's totally not helping.
but it was an eye opener.
took plenty of pictures for the past few days.
just gotta wait for camwhore + camblogger = vone to upload.
i need rest. got a pretty bad cold on friday.
had been sleeping at 2am and waking up at 10am after MS's birthday party & WY's sleepover.
feel totally corrupted right now. but i am still loving it.
beats me. maybe my rebellious side is emerging. but isn't it like a little too late?
i mean, i am like reaching the end of puberty stage.

i was rather irritated during the event today but in the end i enjoyed it.
get to see some cool bands and also ethe'real! woohoo!
ok i am no big fan of them but i heard of them, on tv.
haha.

my diet plan ain't working.
i fear for my stomach.
i had been eating branch (when i should be eating breakfast. properly.)
and i eat a heavy meal for branch.
and i don't eat for the rest of the day.
1 heavy meal a day is ok if i slack at home.
but i eat more when i am at home.
i eat a heavy meal if i were to go out.
so i am starving right now.

i am gonna start cleansing myself. starting tomorrow.
i cannot be as crazy as i want to.
circumstances don't allow it.

i am gonna drown myself in DBSK music while i sleep.
hopefully i can see them in my dreams. (:

~~you looked at me. thinking you could mesmerize me with your (oh so) gorgeous eyes.~~
like how you could to almost anybody.
well, too bad. I AM NOT.
because you are one kind. the typical one kind i know about.

2009-06-11T20:06:00.002+08:00

things i wanna do for the hols
1. KBOX @ cineleisure
2. KBOX with YT
3. NIGHT KBOX
4. night cycling
5. watch [blood, the last vampire]
~~6. watch [night at the museum 2]~~
7. shopping with JY
8. [Da Vinci the genius] exhibition with N

i will keep updating this. HOPEFULLY i can complete every single one on THAT list. (:
today is a happy day because N ~~came to visit!~~ crash my house.
like finally! :D
we watched X-men cartoon together and N cooked instant noodles.
it was yummy. because she mixed noodles with beehoon and we added spices. (:
then we went to watch [night at the museum 2]!
very hilarious. worth to watch!
the ending is better than the first. hees.
went shopping a little. saw YT and her friends.

holidays make me a very happy person.
like they always say, happiness are short.
tons of school stuffs waiting for me to demolish.
i am no longer as hardworking as i used to be.
besides, being hardworking doesn't guarantee good results.
i am not outstanding but i guess i just have to try to put in that teeny weeny bit of effort to make it through.
i seriously wonder what i will be doing in the future.

it's like i get into rehab. baby you're my disease.

2009-06-07T16:04:00.002+08:00

things i wanna do for the hols
1. KBOX @ cineleisure
2. KBOX with YT
3. night cycling
4. watch [blood, the last vampire]
5. watch [night at the museum 2]
6. shopping with JY
7. [Da Vinci the genius] exhibition with N

i am tired but happy.
6th JUNE 2009 was totally AWESOME.
i spent my first night out yesterday!
somehow, i managed to convince papa for letting me stay over at WY's house.
and MS's house is cool.
had a great time there with Vonne, HL, WY and De Yu.
we bbq, eat, play at the playground, play flying fox, sit by the pool, soak our feet.
MS got owned by his friends after we sang happy birthday song to him.
haha! was sprayed by a whole lot of party sprayer and got dumped into the pool.
classic.
so after all the hoohaa we went to the fitness area to talk while we watch them play bball.
then when everyone else left we went upstairs to MS's room and played monopoly till 1AM.
it was totally fun!
walked to WY's house after that.
WY and i watched hellboy till 4AM.
i dozed off halfway. was too exhausted but at the same time, i wanna watch the show.
so yeah.

i totally drained myself out yesterday.
seriously.
in the morning i ate only a few biscuits and i went to run errands.
then meet up with D and swarm the whole orchard, then head off to Doby Ghaut, then Cityhall.
my feet were sore to the core man.
i didn't eat anything, just drank some water.
all these before i head off to MS's house.
now i feel kinda jet lag. -.-

am spending money like a mad person.
perhaps i should put my talent into good use.
i shall go rob someone. since facebook says i am a good robber. (:

2009-06-03T21:58:00.003+08:00

YESSS!
i just checked my email.
SONY ERICSSON INFORMED ME T707 IS HERE!!!
hooray!!!
my new phone is coming~
:D
finally projects were handed in today.
felt somewhat relief.
i still don't like school.
got mom and dad worried.
i am very apologetic.

my favourite black shoe has worn out. ):
i have no more black shoe.
gonna do some more shopping.
i did some shopping today,
so yeah i am broke, no money to eat BUT it''s the holidays!
so i do not need to munch on bread in school.
for three weeks.

tomorrow will be the last time i see my favourite ptn cum tutor cum lecturer.
sadded.

too bad i can't watch Blood, the last vampire in cinemas.
but am looking forward to Friday and Saturday.
please please please please PLEASE.
no change in plan. PLEASE.
i am happy to have such an understanding friend! (:

6th of june is a very important date.
D's birthday.
MS birthday.
Kim Hyun Jun's birthday! LoL!

[our friendship will weather the storm]
i have faith.

2009-06-01T20:45:00.003+08:00

i hate school.
i don't know what i am doing anymore.
sometimes, i try hard. but results didn't come out.
so i get discouraged, i gave up trying.
and this results in me making things worse. making my life worse.
yes i feel so fucked up now.

i keep telling myself i can do this i can do this.
it's not working at all.
you can mark me down.
i deserve it.

2009-05-30T21:08:00.006+08:00

PICTURES for Fantastic Friday!

Vonne was stalking Debbie. :x

Cheesecake & ice-blended choco!

i like this picture. it really suits to be a profile pic.

more cam-whores while waiting for train.

Vonne crop off her face in this pic.

that's all.
i will not say anything about and related to school.
they will just keep coming.
at a rate which i cannot cope.
我认命了。
i am not cut out to be some successful person in the business world.

每个人都因该找到属于自己的世界。
这样，人生才会有异议。
i have not yet discover a world which i belong to.
i am living life aimlessly.
i don't like it.

i hate myself for being so incapable.

2009-05-30T00:02:00.002+08:00

Long post. about my Fantastic Friday this week.
Contents are dry because of its lengthy words.
Pictures to be uploaded next time.

overslept this morning.
woke up at 7.30AM when lessons starts at 9AM.
miraculously, i managed to step out of house at approximately 8AM and get to school just in time. somehow.
totally embarrassed myself during FF tutorial.
took a special trip down to T16 with Vonne and WY to get back our claims for KTC.
rejected again. twice.
ironic thing is, the email they sent to us said today is THE last day to take our claims.
what the fuck.
i want my fifteen bucks ok!
felt irresponsible to leave my tax project group halfway while i go watch Subaru.

as what i had predicted, tickets to Subaru were in hot demand.
3:05PM slot was sold out.
5:05PM slot was left with 3 seats. right at the front.
7:05PM slot was left with 2 seats.
Vonne and i were still happily thinking we could get tickets for us as well as Ameerah, her sister and her cousin for the 5:05PM time slot.
we walked the whole orchard road twice.
yes twice.
vonne called debbie to help us check where else is showing subaru.
they restricted it to only cathay in orchard and at AMK hub.
weird.

so in the end, because we couldn't get tickets at orchard, we asked Ameerah to help us get the ones at AMK hub.
while we wait for the good news, i was damn parched so i went to buy iced-blended chocolate and shared a piece of new york cheesecake with vonne at Gloria Jeans.
my wish came true!
i always wanted to chill at a cafe with a friend, sitting on a comfortable couch and enjoying my drink and cake. haha! what a blissful feeling. (:

then rushed to AMK hub just to watch Subaru there.
Subaru was a little disappointing.
i thought there would be an equal feature of street dance as well as ballet.
turned out to be a lot of ballet and a short performance of street dance.
and Tohoshinki appearance was too short! ):
was screaming like mad and nudging vonne and Ameerah when they appeared. haha!
yes crazy DBSK fandom. :D
i think it is watchable. but i don't think i will watch it again.
the soundtrack for this movie is not bad though. hees.
they feature only a SHORT sound clip of Tohoshinki's [Bolero] but they feature BoA's [Eat you up] twice! no fair! lol.

went to have dinner at BK with vonne and Ameerah after the movie.
great time today.
just that my head feels a little heavy and i am parched throughout the whole time. must be my lack of sleep.

holidays are coming! woohoo!

things i wanna do:
1. go KBOX at NIGHT!
2. go night cycling!

PPPPS:
i found my 避风港! a really unexpected one!
i have the strength to carry on. i hope you do too.
i decide to forgive, but not forget.
it was foolish of me. i will just...stay away.

2009-05-28T08:35:00.001+08:00

i want to be numb.
so that i will feel nothing.
i will not be affected by anything.
i can just live my lifeless life.

i am glad i called N yesterday.
i feel better after that.

2009-05-27T07:36:00.001+08:00

i need to be optimistic.
i need to be optimistic.
I NEED TO BE OPTIMISTIC!

2009-05-24T18:26:00.003+08:00

i re-vamp my pet society's house yesterday.
here are the shots i took. (:

Living room (Room 1)

Hall (Room 2)

Kitchen (Room 3)

Meditation Room (Room 4)

Common bathroom (Room 5)

Dining room (Room 6)

Study room (Room 7)

Private bathroom (Room 8)

Bedroom (Room 9)

Rooftop garden (Room 10)

i like pet society because their graphics are cute and their furniture are pretty.
kinda make me feel like i am playing virtual dollhouse.
which is why most people will find this retarded. whatever man.
i like their furniture and clothing design.
i hate them for coming up with stupid ideas to stop us from hacking.
but the amount of coins they give by playing normally is too miserable.
now they came up with this bloody new idea: playfish CASH.
what the hell.
their motive is to get players to pay real money to get their game cash.
cliche.

i finally realize why this time it hit me so bad.
because usually when such thing happens, i will always have a 避风港 .
now i don't. somewhat.
like they say, there's always a silver lining in every cloud.
so yeah it hit me pretty bad. am upset. blah blah blah.
BUT
it's not like i have nobody to talk to.
i am very very grateful to those who stood by me. (:
both in and outside of school. :P

my war with homework is not over.
and somehow i am on the losing side.
NO!!!

2009-05-22T23:10:00.001+08:00

weekends are here to stay!
cheers people!
haha!

homework are piling up like a HUGE mountain.
tests and projects are shooting towards me like rifle guns.
it's war.

son of a bitch. piss off.

2009-05-21T19:09:00.002+08:00

i wanna go to [Da Vinci - The Genius] exhibition at science centre!
(:
anyone wanna go with me? hees.

perhaps i was too paranoid or i was thinking too much again.
i couldn't concentrate during classes.
i need to strain myself during taxation.
well, my favorite lecturer-tutor-personal tutor will be leaving soon.
unfortunately.
):
i am secretly hoping he would leave after he finished teaching our cohort.
but i know it's not gonna happen.
sighs. tough luck.

i feel so tired hanging around with people today.
like i am forced to smile.
how am i gonna survive the outside world?

i need a target.
a goal. something to keep me going.
i fear i do not have the strength to carry on.

why did things turn out to be like this?

2009-05-21T12:29:00.001+08:00

school still sucks.
):
night at the museum 2 is out today! :D
N where are you?! let's watch together!

happy birthday WW! (:

as if they will see this.
tsk.

2009-05-20T22:48:00.002+08:00

my third post of the day.
like YT, i am starting to dread going to school.
this is unhealthy.
i am searching for a source that is strong enough to motivate me to go to school. (or at least go to school without dreading...)
i remember during sec school, when MYUK wallets from wallet shop just came out.
was super hot and popular.
my first wallet bought from wallet shop contained this phrase:
SCHOOL SUCKS BIG TIME
i feel like that right now.
):

i think it's back to square one.
and worst.
everything seem so surreal.
people who cherish me, i can't seem to be by their side.
i keep finding myself being away from them. why?
sometimes my visions get so blurred i thought i was hallucinating.
i thought i am alone.
yeah. the facebook test was darn right.
i fear being alone.
but i can't do anything about it can i?

like what D said. the reality of life.
still, i don't know why things turn out to be so full of shit.
damn.
i made myself too emotional.
i miss you N.

feeling teary now.
screw you. screw you. screw you. screw you. screw you. screw you. screw you. screw you. screw you. screw you. screw you. screw you. screw you. screw you.
screw you. screw you. screw you. screw you. screw you. screw you. screw you.
screw you. screw you. screw you. screw you. screw you. screw you. screw you.

give me back my happiness.

2009-05-20T16:52:00.002+08:00

i just made this.

i think it's pretty neat.
haha.
should be doing my school work now.
when will the moment come where i find myself with no homework to do?
perhaps, never.

2009-05-20T09:33:00.004+08:00

my dinner last evening.

delicious.

some pictures taken in school.

i drew this dumb picture.

2009-05-19T12:02:00.002+08:00

i am fucking pissed.
fake a whole lot in front of me, treat friends like dirt, desperado.
thanks for treating me like shit.
i shall return you the favor.
i said i don't care. i mean it.
but somehow i get to hear more crap and shit which makes me so uberly pissed right now.
what the fuck did you treat me as?
some ignorant innocent kid?
it ends here. now.

things are just gonna get more twisted and when the day comes where nothing can be done to salvage it, it will get nasty.

2009-05-18T17:58:00.002+08:00

i am into blogging again.
so prepared to be flooded by my texts.

SHOCKING NEWS: At 18 May 2009, Monday, 4.25PM
Juliana Kwek confessed that she is a SINGLE CELL ORGANISM.

ok. lame. random. whatever.

screw you PlayFish!
totally messed up Pet Society.
serves you people right for not being able to keep your loyal players!

after so many years, you decided to talk to me.
and what did you talk about?
you were digging dirt.
why do you wanna know so much?
screw you bitch.
one kind.

being nice does not equal to being friends.
i am not as forgiving as i am nice.

2009-05-18T12:14:00.003+08:00

am uberly pissed.
fucking school renovation results in having us climbing on a teeny weeny staircase.
to make things a whole hell lot worse, almost everyone is using the SAME staircase.
and it's raining. heavily.
what the hell.

still, considered ourselves lucky to be able to get a bench.
with no plug. damn.
i even brought some tutorials with me thinking i could do them here, in school.
a conducive environment to study. my ass.

think my mood swings are acting up again.
feeling so unbelievably frustrated right now.

everything has change now, hasn't it?

2009-05-17T10:17:00.003+08:00

movie night with D yesterday was fun!
fun because it's D i am watching with.
Angels&Demons kinda suck.
they changed a whole lot of storyline.
D and i agreed that it is due to the budget.
and i think that they haven't invent an aircraft that can travel through 3 time zones in just a few minutes.
Vonne and Stella wanna watch this movie too.
sorry peeps! i agreed to watch with my BFF long time ago.
hahas.

looking forward to Night of the museum 2!
gonna watch with N.
that's the plan. but you know, plan can change, when you least expect it.
it's been quite some time since i talk to N. ):
i am happy and honored D grant me access to her "friends-only" blog!
now i can know more about her!
and hopefully i can be more understanding towards her. (:

i had been sleeping and playing computer since friday.
yes, totally slacking the weekend away.
i need a life you know?
i had been slogging so hard during the weekdays.
there seem to be no end to this war.
but i will not concede defeat.
brace yourselves homework.
victory is MINE.

2009-05-16T15:54:00.002+08:00

major blog re-vamp.
deleted my old cbox, update my links, change my stats counter color and of course
the blog layout.
really BRIGHT colors.
i like it. makes me feel a little cheerful.
not my usual style though.

after updating the links i realized many people had delete their blogs.
or changed their links which i am not aware of.
oh well.

i am way behind my homework schedule.
yes, homework again.
what a life.

but there's a silver lining in every cloud.
movie night out with D tonight! :D
cheers babe!
something to look forward to. *anticipating*

i guess i am just not good enough for you to lean on, to count on.
i am glad you are there for me whenever i need you.
i wish i could do the same for you.

i believe all relationships should be two-way.

2009-05-15T13:38:00.002+08:00

you can mess with the group,
their heads, their minds, their thoughts, their feelings.
blah blah blah.
but you are THROUGH messing with me.

why?
because
1) i have learned my lesson (can't believe it is happening all over again despite my efforts for a WHOLE NEW environment),
2) i have seen through you. (i won't say i can read you like a book though.)
3) i don't give a shit anymore.

wasted my time, feelings, emotions and tears.
screw yourself, i don't care.
i am satisfied now.

i know it is impossible that everyone will be in harmony.
because that's just the way the world is.

2009-05-14T20:55:00.002+08:00

there are times when i stop to think about what the hell am i doing with my life.
times like now.
i am supposed to be doing homework.
what the fuck.
i am doing homework ever since school starts.
where is my life?!

this whole lamefreakfuglydoublefaceshit is getting on my nerves.
it's turning me into a fakeo too.
it's CONTAGIOUS.
and i don't like it. AT ALL.

2009-05-13T09:03:00.002+08:00

sometimes i am a big lag when i see people.
but i am glad i did see through them in the end.

BITCH FRIEND!

if you hit my raw spot, it will be war.

2009-05-11T15:09:00.003+08:00

it is a blue day today.
raining all day.
i feel uneasy and sad today.
it rhymes.
i know i have immense talent.
*smug*

okok cut the crap.
i tore away the present YT gave me.
not intentionally, because we need to change ez link card.
like what kind of difference will it make.
sheesh.
so anyway i feel terrible after i tore it away. ):

"our friendship will weather the storm"

i feel that the storm is not far away.
i had not been talking to my good friends for ages. ):
i had been neglecting lots of stuffs.
ARGH.

or maybe it's just me again.
wanting too much in my life.
so much that i cannot cope.
Jul gave me this nice box of cookies.
i ate it for my branch last friday.
i can't believe i skipped breakfast then.
i don't skip breakfast.
still, the cookies were great.
thanks jul!

VONE! gave me this after i gave her a whole stack of paper plastered with Xiah's face.
lol.
my favourite treat. (:
thanks VONE!

my dinner last tue before my lessons.
the fish was fantastic.

i told stella this morning that i felt demoralized.
i still am. ):

it seems like the war will never be over.
i kept clearing my homework but they kept coming.
damn it.

2009-05-08T10:25:00.002+08:00

hoho.
i have screwed my timing.
i am feeling giddy now.
lack of sleep for two days.
slept at 3AM and wake up at 5AM on wed.
reached home at 12midnight on thurs.
today is finally friday.
my panda eyes are HUGE.
way behind my homework...
what else.
post pictures next time.
Lollipop at zouk was ok.
i think it will be more fun the next time i go.
gotta bring a whole bunch of friends along.
yep.
now i know how being a zombie feels like.
i am seriously neither dead nor living.
-.-

FF tutorial now.
i am totally clueless since i had never read anything from the start of the lesson.
that was three weeks ago.
i guess Jul is as clueless as me.
i don't bother including MS.
i mean, it's LIKE DUH that he won't do.
once in a blue moon maybe, he will.
Ger and Stella are working hard to provide answers for the group.
i am very very grateful.

i wanna go home and crash and after that i am gonna go on war.
with my homework.
i realized the importance of sleep and cherish the precious moments i had to rest.

i lost touch of D & N.
i feel empty.
ok i feel more of exhaustion.

it sucks being broke.
yes i am broke again.
what a surprise.
i don't get to watch X-men or Angels&Demons.
damn it.

2009-04-29T22:19:00.002+08:00

do you think i really care
dont care, heck care
do you think i really care
I DONT GIVE A DAMN! BLEH!

HAHA.
crazy weather makes people crazy.
but it was fun and i get to laugh with my friends
and i am really happy!
i wish it can stay like this.
not the weather part, the happy people part.
well, i shall enjoy happiness while it lasts.

김재중, 사랑해요! ^^
until i found someone who makes me feel the same way as you do,
i shall continue to dream the impossible.

2009-04-25T13:53:00.002+08:00

i am going to trash it out here. rather than my own personal diary.
i will not bitch but i will just say out what i feel.
a rather serious and depressing post. if you believe "ignorance is bliss" i strongly urge you to NOT read this.

all these time i am alone.
so yeah i am used to being alone.
but that doesn't mean i LIKE being alone.
somehow i always find myself being alone.
pretty sad about this.

i don't like being used.
i don't mind helping people and just to make things clear,
i am not being nice for the sake of winning favors or getting any attention.
i help because maybe i find that you are a nice person who is worthy of my help.
or maybe you are who i call a friend.
this also means that i am not somebody whom you will call "the last resort."
aka there's nobody else to call so i have no choice but to call you.
if that is the case, you can forget about it.
i am not that desperate for company.
if you are not sincere about it and just want a temporary escort, call the escort service company. they will have many offers available for you.

papa told me that if i promised to do a favor for someone, i have to do it.
yeah i know i have to, but sometimes i really don't feel like doing so.
because the person broke his/her promise.
don't tell me promises are meant to be broken rubbish.
those are emo crap.
a promise is a promise. it is meant to be kept. and should be.
nevertheless, i will still do the favor.
not because i am hoping that the favor will be returned someday.
but i want to keep my promise.

i dislike people who treat friends like dirt.
i see the relations between people and it makes me sad to see how fragile it is.
i guess it is hard to show or tell someone you cherish him/her.
and i guess, things will just stay that way.
which is pretty depressing. for me at least.

i apologize for the fact that i am unable to hide my emotions well.
it is very easy to tell when i am feeling down.
truthfully, i wish i can hide them all and pretend that i am fine.
at least the awkwardness will not be there.

i am glad the weekends are here.
it gives me a break from everything.
i am glad there's JY and YT for company.
it makes life in school less depressing.

the hot weather will soon have my brains fried.

without END, we can never spell FRIEND.
glad to know that there's still both of you.
keep reminding me it's not the end of the world.

2009-04-17T10:59:00.028+08:00

hello hello!
lol. i know it has been AGES since i blogged.
a very big sorry to all my readers out there!
LOL. what a snob.
i sounded as if i have tons of supporting fans. :x
so anyway i am going to finish blogging everything today.
yep everything. so this is gonna be a long post. (:
and i am also taking this chance to conclude whatever i had done during this two months.
v room! two months past just like that!
school is starting in TWO DAYS and it will be a hell lot of busy days ahead.
so let's get started!

1st stop. during CNY, yes CNY i know it's AGES ago.
i went to visit some of my classmate's home!
i went to Jamie's house, had lunch there (her mum's fried chicken is YUMMY.)
and played a little mahjong. hees.
then we went to Jul's house. played cards and then they head off to Wei Ying's house for dinner which i couldn't go because of my grandma's da shou. ):
man i wanna go Wei Ying's house...
so anyway some pictures!

at the void deck of Jamie's house.

Jul & Wei Ying!

outside Jul's house.

2nd stop. Carls Jr! Some time ago, Jul and i went to PS to try Carls Jr burger.

i was eying the cake so i decided to try it. :x

3rd stop. studying!
yes studying! i snapped some pictures while i was studying with D and during my last minute mugging in school for MOB with Ger, Jul & Stella.

4th stop. Lucky Plaza.
After exams, Jul brought Ger, Stella & Me to eat this ayam something.
i don't know what exactly it is called.
its fried chicken rice, indonesian style i think.
the chicken is damn nice!
they marinate until it is very nice!
and the chilli is. hot.
i can feel the hotness going up while i ate.

Stella & Ger!

tada!

it is really nice! must try! just don't dip too much chilli.

5th stop. Pulau Ubin.
Went to Pulau Ubin for the first time. LOL.
it was very tiring but fun!
cycling there was very nice. quite thrilling.
i wanna go there again!
the best part is after all the exercise, there's delicious FOOD!
haha!

6th stop. WY & Jackson birthday celebration!
woohoo!
we went to Minds cafe to eat. my first time there.
the place is CROWDED NOISY STUFFY and the food there is EXPENSIVE and the ice-creams are BLEH.
lol. yeah i enjoyed that day because i was with my classmates. not because i went there.
i don't fancy that place.
yeah they have tons of boardgames. which i do not know how to play. -_-
pictures!

after that the girls went to Bugis Junction and we took neoprints!

7th stop. KTC!
yes! KTC programme hosted by SP student exchange club.
WY, Vonne & I attended. it was great fun!
met lots of new people. both local and foreign.
we went to many places too!
went to Arab street, National Museum and PS.

i like this picture. <3>

i received a small gift from Yuta at the end of the day.
i felt bad for not giving anything so the moment we reached airport, my group and vonne decided to get some gifts for them.
the group we led during the day tour and my table friends at the sayonara dinner.
i bought them ice-cream keychains with 4 different expressions.
and just nice, there were 8 of them!
vonne chose some gifts for her table friends too and we got a minitoons membership card with our purchases!
LOL.
before that i went to candy empire with weili to get merlion shaped chocolate for our tour group.
just nice there are six of them and the merlion chocolate had offer: buy one get one free!
LOL!!! we bought six at the price of three! cool huh!
haha!
i was busy getting the presents ready i forgot to take picture of them. ):

Final stop. Random items!
yes! some pictures i took during the holidays. i wanna share it with all of you!
i remember vividly the first thing i did when the holidays started was to re-vamp my room.
and i did it!
i love my room now. because it is neat and tidy and organized. (:
i bought this box to keep the letters and cards i received over the years.
christmas cards, birthday cards.
i kept all of them.
it's the giver's effort to write or make a card for you.
so the receiver should treasure it. (:

all the cards and letters are in here!

yummy coffee and cake.

Hagen Diaz new creation! something truffle. -.-

my cousin. he become very mischevious now.

i went out with D recently, and she introduced to me this cute small brownie shop.
their brownie is YUMMY!
must try!

yum yum!

i bought micky & minnie TOOT version!

i drew a smily face on my uncle's vehicle's window.

nice ceiling don't you think?

i managed to splurge some more and bought them!

pretty notebooks, coloured pens and mirrors! i love artbox.
although yeah, their stuffs are not exactly reasonably priced.
but anyway, i bought those and got a membership!
HAHA!
yeah i have plenty of membership cards. :x
next time you want discount ask me!
i might have what you want.
LOL.

ok this has been a very long post, i took like a whole day to finish it so please appreciate my efforts!
school is starting. i cannot believe it. ):
I LOVE YOU ALL FANS OUT THERE! LOL.
kidding. (:

2009-03-28T22:16:00.003+08:00

ok i gotta wake up at 5AM tomorrow morning so i have to make this quick.
i need my beauty sleep.
went out with D today.
we walked the whole day.
we were both knackered but it was damn fun. (:
pictures soon.
i SWEAR i will start TOMORROW and hopefully, finish my WAY overdue posts.
get ready for TONS of pictures!
well i am assuming there ARE people reading this.
but its ok, if there isn't, i can be my own audience.

D is SUCH a GossipGirl and a weirdo. teehee. (:
but i LOVE her. too bad i am not her ideal lesbian partner.
well it's alright actually. i have my own ideal lesbian partner. ^^

TADA!
god. she has the PERFECT fair skin, blond hair AND the crystal clear blue eyes.
GORGEOUS.
i can't say i love her since i don't know her AT ALL.
BUT i can say i LOVE her features.
my ideal lesbian partner.
ok i have to end this now otherwise i will be going on and on.
tata!

PS: i am NOT a lesbian. i am heterosexual. (:

2009-03-24T23:10:00.002+08:00

i am so busy i cannot do serious blogging. aka posting pictures.
lots of things had happen and i do not have the time to mention any of it.
i am knackered.
i am sick.
i am broke.
i am feeling somewhat regretful.
i am feeling very nostalgic.
the current song that suits my mood now is 远远在一起。

holidays will soon be over and all hell will break loose.
i do not think i am ready for it. at all.

2009-03-18T11:12:00.001+08:00

i am ready to move on.

2009-03-13T10:44:00.002+08:00

i decided to just HECK CARE all the bad news.
DMS game over.
Pet Society game over.
fine, since i am forced to end my favourite games, i shall focus more on my other interests.
i.e watching shows (i have like tons ye to watch) & reading books!
yes! i love reading books!
not all kinds though.
as for my blogging marathon, well i shall continue whenever i feel like it (:
i came up with a new wishlist! (:
vonne, jul & stella are coming later.
suspect x. we are coming.
HAHA.
i kept listening to MIROTIC chinese version.
it's damn hilarious.
"yeah i'm in your aim~"
yunho sounded so...disgustingly hilarious.
and i am hooked simply it is disgustingly hilarious. :x

2009-03-11T13:03:00.005+08:00

fuck.
i am so damn pissed.
this day has been very difficult.

1. i can't figure out how to hack Pet Society even though some other SMARTY-PANTS knew how and they are too STUCK-UP to help.
2. i wanna watch the highly anticipated new episode of heroes but guess what? the supernova link is damaged and mega video as usual refuse to let you watch the full episode.
3. i woke up at 11am which is super late for me and i am still in a mess, with tons of things to do.
4. Yan Tong had a sore throat so we can't go KBOX tomorrow.
5. i was supposed to meet D as usual at our usual place but this sat is special. N is joining us too. but guess what? i have to cancel because my grandpa's birthday celebration has been shifted AND shifted until this sat.
6. i can't meet D on fri even though she has no school because of her co.
7. dragon personally assured me that DMS is game over.

i am so irritated i feel like a time-bomb.
i can explode any moment.
fortunately, i am in my own room AS USUAL emo-ing on my own.

i think i am just gonna sleep the day away. literally.

*just woke up.
i realise i cannot sleep the day away.
sleeping is so boring.
now i am gonna wait for the rest of the bad news to come.
just come pouring down and make my day even better.

2009-03-10T09:01:00.005+08:00

Blogging Marathon Day 2
today i am gonna host pictures of a day out with my classmates!
Yvonne, Wei Ying, Hui Lian, Jamie, Stella & me!
we went to Jurong Point to watch a movie.
(too long ago i forgot what movie we were watching...)
so anyway we had breakfast at LJS first!

smiles!

:x

boo

ahaha.

N had some Swensens vouchers some time ago for their two scoop ice-cream.
so we purposely went to Swensens to use the vouchers.
i am not particularly crazy about Swensens ice-cream.

N!

ice-cream warfare.

yep we ate all the ice-cream from above.
the cookie crunch had like 3 scoops and we ordered 2 sets of the 2 scoop ice-cream sets.
so we ate like 7 scoops of ice-cream. -___-
we were so stuffed with sweetness that we got sick of it.
and i will never ever eat Swensens ice-cream again.
i rather patronize Haggen Diaz. (:

2009-03-09T11:47:00.009+08:00

Blogging Marathon Day 1

hees. nothing much. just TONS of pictures of my adorable cousin.
get ready to be oozed by CUTENESS. :x

ciao.

2009-03-08T18:06:00.003+08:00

blah.
that's why i dislike blog hopping.
i will stumble upon things i rather i DO NOT wanna know.
ignorance is bliss is SO damn right here.
yes. i will not hesitate to swear.
after seeing those stuffs that hurt my eyes, i wanna say this:
what the fuck. stop living in denial and LIVE A LITTLE.
i dislike your attitude and you had fucking hit on my nerves.
i have no fucking idea what is going on in that screwed up brain of yours.
whatever. it is your brain. not mine.

i don't wanna pretend and act anymore.
i am gonna bring down this whole fucking facade which gives nothing but more DENIAL and PRETENSE and HYPOCRITES.

P.S: swearing will not kill you.
P.P.S: if you think i am referring to you, that shows you are either being paranoid or you are guilty as charged. Stand at one corner and reflect upon yourself. (sheesh.)

2009-03-08T14:15:00.004+08:00

i wasted my time digging dirt only to realize that i hit jackpot.
ok i have this feeling that my institution is correct.
and it has been confirmed after i dug out all the dirt.
i feel funny after that.
not funny-haha, funny-weird.

and damn pet society for blocking the hack.
the hack which is so easy to use and practically those who checked out know how to use it.
then the sever maintenance came and game over.
that's how i found myself wasting more time digging for gold this time.
and i found it.
some computer experts figured out a way to earn more pet coins.
but it uses a whole new programme which i downloaded but couldn't figure out how to use it.
and those smarty-pants who know how to use it refuses to help those clueless people (i'm one of them)
this get me frustrated.

i intend to blog my WAY overdue events.
be prepared for a long post everyday starting tomorrow. (:

P.S: i wanna share this! my little creation on Pet Society during Valentines Day. ^^

2009-03-03T12:53:00.003+08:00

i have tons to blog.
some events are way overdue.
but nevertheless i will blog about them as soon as i can dig out some free time.
well its ironic to say this since i am having my holidays, i have all the time i want...
ok i was busy watching shows and reading books. :x
i am ecstatic to know that not only do i have a lot of shows to watch online, i have a lot of movies to watch too!
who's up for it? x)

the past few weeks had been a blur.
too many stuffs happened, too many emotions.
it's time to wrap them all up and move on.
it's fine that nobody comment on my cbox but
WHY THE HECK DID IT BECAME SOME ADVERTISEMENT CORNER?!
i hate advertisement.
they are useless most of the time.

today is the official start of school holidays.
seven full weeks.
time to get my life back.
i quit my job.
they don't have the intention to hire me anyway.
so it's fine.
and in case anyone wants to work where i used to, let me tell you that they only want full-timers. so don't waste your time going there to fill up whatever form.
they will just chuck it away.

it was 6 months.
not 6 full months but still it is pretty awesome.
my first retail job which i found all on my own.
and all the nice people there.
it will be a good memory for me.

i wanna thank all my good friends.
you know who you girls are. (:
thank you for telling me you care. i really appreciate it.

2009-03-01T15:38:00.001+08:00

飞轮海 - 默默

作曲:陈伟/宋念宇
作词:黄文萱
编曲:陈伟/黄文萱

这是一个没有答案的问题
我感觉我变了谁让我变了
原本这是一个没有答案的问题
却被你解开了简单的解开了

你走过来带着和别人不同的对白
你甚至不让我知道你对我有多好

慢慢的这份爱悄悄的住下来
深深的在心里没人看的出来
安静的但却一直都在
是你默默的爱

慢慢的这份爱已经变成依赖
浅浅的笑容里却让我充满期待
不用说我就能够明白
你默默的爱

这是一个没有答案的问题
我感觉我变了谁让我变了
原本这是一个没有答案的问题
却被你解开了简单的解开了

你走过来带着和别人不同的对白
你甚至不让我知道你对我有多好

慢慢的这份爱悄悄的住下来
深深的在心里没人看的出来
安静的但却一直都在
是你默默的爱

慢慢的这份爱已经变成依赖
浅浅的笑容里却让我充满期待
不用说我就能够明白
你默默的爱

未来的每一天不管发生什么
能不能交给我呢
我要永远陪着你守护着你直到最后

慢慢的这份爱悄悄的住下来
深深的在心里没人看的出来
安静的但却一直都在
是你默默的爱

慢慢的这份爱已经变成依赖
浅浅的笑容里却让我充满期待
不用说我就能够明白
你默默的爱

2009-02-20T22:47:00.002+08:00

all i can say is, i am sorry for letting you both down.
i am sorry for being such a disappointment.
i will not promise anything but i will do my best to mend this wreck.
this is the worst.
no, i am preparing for the worst.
no number of apologies can salvage this but still, i would like to apologize for making both of you worry.

everything is a mess right now.
i want the time to tidy things up.
but time came too late.
not only do i have to tidy things up, i have a whole lot of wreck to clean up.

2009-02-19T20:18:00.002+08:00

i am so not in the mood to "party"
it is tiring and sickening to pretend to smile and be happy when i am so far from it.
even if i manage to do so, the aura will not.
and my expressions never fails to reveal how i really feel.
i don't want to be a spoiler and ruin the happy atmosphere for others.
if i have a choice i rather leave myself alone to brood over my mistakes.

i am measuring the circumstances, not literally (duh.)
if it's really really bad i don't know how i am gonna tell mum and dad.
早知如此又何必当初？
hais.

---

i gave you peace when you were in the midst of your important examinations.
what about you?
you gave me trouble and worries.
"give me time, i will sort things out."
you sure chose the right time.
how can i be assured that i can still count on you no matter what?

---

maybe i should follow mama to the temple to pray. -.-
for some self-assurance.
mama kept saying that this year is a really suay year for me.
i don't believe in such things, but now that i consider it, it just shows i desperate i am.
-___-

2009-02-18T22:07:00.000+08:00

all i can do is anticipate with fear.
i hope i can take it when it happens.

2009-02-14T16:00:00.003+08:00

subjective manner. comments not accepted.

i have a murderous thought.
count yourself unlucky if i have a pair of scissors and you happen to be right in front of me.

ok i don't mean it literally. duh.
things are gonna get sour though.

i admit i am not gracious enough. sour grape even.
so i cant "take it easy" blah blah that sort of stuffs.
yes it is my flaw.
i can't help it.
just like you can't help yourself.
i am not saying that you chose to agitate me, you shall suffer.
what can i do to make you suffer anyway.
but "nice" is definitely out of the dictionary.

i definitely express myself better when i write.
so i will not speak or even mention it.
the thing is, sometimes i feel that one should be somewhat sensitive to other people.
of course not everyone is sensitive enough to realize.
自动一点, that's what most will say.

superficiality is a real turn-off, but sometimes it is necessary to keep things on hand.
simply saying, i hate faking it but things will turn nasty if i don't.
i won't say i hate hypocrites because i believe at some point of time in everyone's life, we are one.
even if it's just for a little while.

don't prod me, i will neither confirm nor deny.
stop wondering or guessing if i am pin-pointing you either.
even if you think you are guilty, it may not be you.
so i will not entertain anything.
it's just a piece of my mind.

2009-02-08T20:49:00.001+08:00

thanks for everything D.
a BIG hug for you! (:

i do not cry for you.
i cry for our friendship.

2009-02-06T22:10:00.002+08:00

you wanted company to get your stuffs.
i was busy so i could not.
but you were out anyway.
then you said you would talk after that.
nothing from you.
i text today even though i was mad.
you blew me off again.
i guess i need more assurance.
nothing from you is just unacceptable.
but then again, you did not promise anything so IT'S FINE right?
just leave me hanging.

you may think this is crazy but personally i feel that cutting hair relives stress.
i chopped off a lot of my hair.
:x
i am going crazier than ever.

2009-02-01T18:38:00.002+08:00

i am writing in a very subjective manner.
feel free to fuck off if you dislike what i wrote.

i am very pissed off.
i am literally boiling inside.
i hate competition.
i am serious about it.
to some, it may be a source of motivation to do better.
it may be for the sense of SATISFACTION for outdoing others.
but it demoralizes me.
especially if you do it DELIBERATELY.

frankly speaking, i detest the competitive environment.
because it changes people. negatively.
sure it is healthy to have a little competition once in a while to boost one another.
but 24/7 of competition?
i had enough.
you wanna win? go ahead.
since winning is so important to you, winning is like your LIFE,
go ahead. nobody is stopping you.

hiatus is not over.