MOVED. (:

after 4 YEARS and 11 MONTHS, it is time to move on.
NEW BLOG COMING SOON: 14.10.2009
this blog shall serve as my memory lane whenever i feel nostalgic.

change. is part and parcel of life.

not today;
2:41 PM;

blogger has fucked up. BIG TIME.
and it's not just me saying it.

any recommendation for a new blog portal would be appreciated.
(preferably one which is cool with blog skins and layouts.)

BLOGGER YOU SUCK!
BOO!

not today;
1:47 PM;

It was a talked up world where everyone is doing wonderful, afraid to look at life in case it is not what they want.

i looked at my life and it is not what i want.
so, i will be the change i wanna be in this world.
it's ironic but true.
when you sink to the bottom, when you lost everything.
you no longer have any fear, no longer afraid to show,
because you know you have nothing else to lose.
i will do what i do best: leaving quietly, with no footprints behind.

not today;
3:24 PM;

slept at 4aM yesterday. woohoo!
half the day was gone when i woke up today.
i can't seem to blog properly.
contents are disorganized and yet i keep having the urge to blog.
right now i am rocking to the music of my Favorite female artists: Taylor Swift, Avril Lavigne, The Veronicas (:

Taylor Swift is one down-to-earth person.
love her attitude.
love her gorgeous blond curls.

Avril Lavigne is one cool person.
love her blond hair + pink streak.
love her face. the kind of dao yet chio expression,

The VERONICAS.
how i wish i could have a twin too.
love their attitude.

think i am gonna go take a nap. (even though i woke up for only 2.5 hours.)
haven't been sleeping well this whole week.
slept at around 2am or later.
keep having this weird feeling that my body ain't functioning well.

i have come to the conclusion that my blogger and facebook has officially fucked up.
i can't host pictures, browse facebook, make comments, blah blah.
GOOD NIGHT.

not today;
1:22 PM;

i am not deluded.
i have my reasons for choosing 'Chikuda Cho' as my Japanese name.
reasons. not sole meaning of the japanese name.
note the difference.
i admit 'Matsumoto Emi' was the result of my urge to have a japanese name.

i am rocking to the music of Taylor Swift and The VERONICAS.
i LOVE Avril Lavigne's website.
and her new fragrance.
which cannot be found in SG.
another reason why i am so outta here when i can.
blogger is still fucked up. i wanna host pictures.
facebook too.
or is it my PC.
damn.
well as you can see, i am not only obsessed with male artists now.
actually i admire plenty of artists. because they all have their different style towards their music.
which i appreciate.
currently these are my top favorite artists. (:
my obsession with DBSK will remain the strongest! ^^
i am having a hard time right now.
but i am not defeated. i am gonna fight for it.
you want something? you fight for it.
DBSK too, are having huge problems. but they are fighting.
fighting for their rights. for what they deserve.
Jae Joong, Yoo Chun, Junsu FIGHTING!
Fans all over the world are watching and giving them moral support.

long weekends are here.
time to plot my strategy.
like i said.
i ain't waiting for judgment day.
i'll be my own judge.
got it?
good.

only during critical times will you know who chose to stood by you no matter what and who associate themselves with you for a purpose.

not today;
9:49 PM;

"When It All Falls Apart"

I'm having the day from hell,
it was all going so well (before you came)
And you told me you needed space,
With a kiss on the side my face (not again)
And not to mention (the tears I shed)
But I should have kicked your (ass instead)
I need intervention
Attention to to stop temptation to scream

'cause baby
Everything is F'ed up straight from the heart
Tell me what do you do, when it all falls apart
Gotta pick myself up where do I start
'cause I can't turn to you when it all falls apart
No

Don't know where I parked my car
Don't know who my real friends are (anymore)
I put my faith in you
What a stupid thing to do (when it rains it pours)
And not to mention (I drank too much)
I'm feeling hung over (and out of touch)
I need intervention
Attention to to stop temptation to scream

'cause baby
Everything is F'ed up straight from the heart
Tell me what do you do, when it all falls apart
Gotta pick myself up where do I start
'cause I can't turn to you when it all falls apart
No

Can it be easier?
Can I just change my life?
'cause it just seems to go bad everytime
Will I be mending?
another one ending once again

Everything is F'ed up straight from the heart
Tell me what do you do, when it all falls apart
Gotta pick myself up where do I start
'cause I can't turn to you when it all falls apart
No

Falls apart
Gotta pick myself up 'cause things are messed up


was browsing through my archives.
not all of them. duh. just some random posts.
i looked back and i think i had a pretty good life during the holidays after Os.
switched jobs, hung out with old friends, blogged about happy stuffs.
even the emo posts aren't that bad.
poly life begins and i got alone with my classmates.
i mentioned different people each time i blogged.
my posts were totally concentrated on poly life.
worrying about assignments, projects.
a typical student.
grades aren't fantastic but i survived.

now?
it's a different story.
grades are barely making it.
wasting my life away every single day.
thinking is all i do.
thinking isn't gonna produce money and put food on the table.
thinking isn't gonna make me a better person.
thinking isn't gonna get me out of this fucked up life. or maybe it will.
i wake up with a heavy head everyday.

till my blood dries up.
till my spirit dies out.
it's suicidal and i am not gonna wait for judgment day.
i can't wait that long.
my tolerance is reaching its limit.

not today;
8:17 PM;

i thought i had plunged to the bottom.
but hell no.
i sink underground.

i need to talk to someone.
who should i talk to?

fuck that shit.
shouldn't have bothered.
waste of my time, energy, effort, money and saliva.

facade. it's all facade.
issues. i have issues.

not today;
10:13 PM;